Griffins Sound Like Pterodactyls

Our adventure began in the center of DEUS’s virtual world. As the runners gazed around at the massive amount of trees and the beautiful blue sky above, Dodger (who we definitely didn’t forget about and has totally been here the whole time) announced that he was calling for reinforcements. The runners, spotting a path, started following it through the garden. Dodger, who we assume had finished calling for reinforcements at this point, pulled out what appeared to be an old-fashioned dowsing rod to find a portal. The rod twitched and pointed into the undergrowth to the left of the path, so the team decided to trust this sketchy thing and head off through the foliage.

Hoping to make the way easier for everyone, Clem swung his axe into the undergrowth, causing the crystal plants to shatter and splinter everywhere. Grudgingly, the team began their trudge through the undergrowth. Clem started to go a little crazy as they passed through the trees, seeing nests of chromatic snakes hiding in a tree, waiting to bite unsuspecting passers-by. Up ahead, the team could see a triangle shape made of pulsating light in the branches. Dodger’s Delightful Dowsing Rod pointed directly into the center of the triangle.

As Clem stepped through the triangle, Pary and Rhineholt heard “Weeeeeeell that sucks.” Hoping that Clem hadn’t found himself in too much danger, Pary and Rhineholt followed the orc into the triangle. Rhineholt found himself knee-deep in red goop. Pary (being much shorter, because she’s a dwarf) was waist-deep in the substance. The team looked around and decided that they must be in some sort of a rounded tunnel. The surrounding air stunk terribly, and large blobs of red started bumping into the team as they tried to decide on a next course of action.

The runners had no sooner started wandering down the tunnel than they heard a rushing sound behind them and noticed that the current through the red goop was starting to get stronger. Not sure what to expect, they started to run. A couple moments later, they glanced over their shoulders to see a large wall of goop gaining on them. Clem unsheathed his axe and cut a hole in the fleshy wall of the tunnel. As Clem tossed Dodger through the hole he had cut, Rhineholt cut a second hole with his katana and hopped through. Pary struggled to climb through behind Clem (curse those stubby legs of hers), but the orc managed to grab her and pull her through just before the massive wave swept through the place they had been standing. Red goop squirted through the freshly-cut holes as the wave hurtled past, drenching the team.

Wiping the goop off themselves, the team realized that they were squished in a gap between thick slimy tubes. Dodger’s dowsing rod pointed into the center of the sticky tubes. The team decided that they would rather fight the red goop than the icky tubes and slipped back into the tunnel. A moment later, the runners heard the rushing sound again and felt the current picking up. Clem opened another hole, and the team slipped back out into the midst of the tubes. After quite a while of Clem elbowing his way through the piles of tubes to make a path for the others, they found themselves at a point where big and little tubes seemed to come together. Clem hacked in with his axe, and the team was surprised to find a pool of the red goop in the center, swirling downwards toward the center like a flushing toilet. Clem hopped into the pool and swirled around and around, flashing a thumbs up as he sank into the middle. Pary, Dodger, and Rhineholt followed, though with noticeably fewer thumbs up.

The team sunk further and further down. Just as their lungs started to feel like they would burst, when they didn’t think they could possibly hold their breath for another second, they felt the rush of a mountain breeze and heard the flapping of large wings. Looking around in confusion, the runners soon realized that they were riding on the backs of a herd of Pegasus. Behind them was a flock of Griffins, closing in quickly.

Luckily for the runners, Rhineholt had read quite a few fantasy novels in his spare time and seemed to remember the characters riding Pegasus on a few occasions. He reached up and grasped the ears of his Pegasus, using them to control the creature’s movement. Pary, over the moon at riding on one of the best mythical creatures of all time ever, clutched the mane of her Pegasus excitedly. The Pegasus was equally as excited to discover that it was being ridden by one of the best meta-humans of all time ever, started doing barrel rolls and crazy stunt tricks through the sky.

Dodger called out to the runners that the dowsing rod was pointing to the left. Clem and Rhineholt (Pary was too busy bonding with her Pegasus) looked to the left to see what should have been the familiar skyline of Seattle. This skyline, though, showed destroyed skyscrapers overgrown by vegetation. The only recognizable structure still standing was the Space Needle, which was their apparent target. Now having a definite direction, Clem reached forward with one meaty hand to grasp the head of his Pegasus, using it like a joystick. Pary’s Pegasus pulled itself out of a barrel roll and rocketed past the other flying horses, Pary whooping and flashing the “rock on” symbol at her companions as they passed.

Hearing the Griffins getting ever closer, the team steered their mounts closer to the ground, weaving in and out of the buildings and zigging when they could have zagged and what-not. Eventually, they spotted an open intersection ahead of them, free of rubble. Some quick and totally-not-made-up calculations showed that they would likely be caught by the Griffins on the other side of the intersection.

(At this point in the narrative, the GM asked me to note that his inner pterodactyl died, and all that was left was the longing to hear the cry of his people.)

As their Pegasus entered the intersection, the team bailed off, hitting the ground running. They darted into a nearby deserted department store and dove behind the perfume counter. As Clem started to toss perfume bottles at the Griffins, Pary and Rhineholt dug through some debris and unearthed a Vigorous Assault Cannon with five rounds. The Griffins, grossed out by the smell of the perfume, flew away to go find private places to throw up, and the team scrambled out of the building and headed in the general direction the Space Needle.

As the runners started to climb the ruins of the Space Needle, the ground trembled, and a ferocious roar echoed around them. A large lizard-like head appeared over the skyline as a huge Godzilla-like creature stomped towards the team, looking particularly hungry. Pary handed the big gun to Clem, who swung around towards Godzilla excitedly, startling an especially flinchy Rhineholt in the process. As the first round from the gun crashed into the monster, Godzilla roared angrily and shot a burst of fire into the air demonstratively. Another round met its target, and Godzilla shot a huge ball of fire towards the runners. As it approached, Clem ducked behind a nearby wall, Pary flattened herself to the ground, and Rhineholt and Dodger dove into an overturned dumpster. The heat from the fire singed them all as it sailed past.

At that moment, a large crevice opened up in the ground, and the team jumped through gratefully. The crevice closed behind them, leaving the runners in an underground parking garage. Abandoned cars littered the area, and the team could see large eggs underneath giant nets. As the team passed a cluster of eggs, they became aware of a cracking sound and noticed that the eggs were quivering as if they could hatch any moment. The runners hurried away from the eggs and heard a pterodactyl-ish scream from behind them. Pary pointed Dodger towards a vault door in the wall, and the dowsing rod went nuts.

“I might know the combination, but my axe knows another.”

Pary and Rhineholt, rolling their eyes at Clem’s latest one-liner, helped the orc start to pry open the door. Clem heard the monsters gaining on them and handed Pary the big gun before straining harder at the door. Rhineholt threw throwing knives into the oncoming wave of lizard-alligator-looking things. Pary took a shot with the big gun, but miscalculated something or other, and the roof collapsed. Falling pieces of debris hit Pary and Rhineholt on the heads, knocking them out instantly. Clem tossed a teammate over each shoulder, and he and Dodger stepped into the vault.

The vault was full of drones that shuddered but couldn’t quite seem to start. Sparkling light swirled before Clem and Dodger as the floor collapsed, dumping the group into darkness.