The Scrapyard Part 3: Escape from Certain Slobbery Death
Our adventure began in the computer room in the office building of the Forsaken Scrapyard. Hearing their pursuers closing in from outside the room, Clem and Pary began to secure their position while Rhineholt worked with Ronin to get him patched in to the mainframe. Clem hauled a large piece of computer something-something to block the door, and Pary ran across the beautiful roof-top patio to Nerd’s old office, grenades in tow. She pulled a grenade as she entered the office and chuckled as she poked her head around the door to play a round of Bowling with Grenades. Much to her surprise, she was greeted at the door by a human security guard, who immediately (and quite rudely) pulled his gun to shoot at her. Ducking back behind the door frame, she tossed the grenade out into the hallway and waited hopefully for the boom.
The security guard, possessing average perception and self-preservation, dove into the office, hoping for cover. Pary, possessing above-average perception and self-preservation, was ready for him. She pulled her shotgun and fired at the guard, who promptly shot her back, at which point she realized that she had clearly underestimated his perception and self-preservation.
Just before the lights went out for our dear Pary Moppins, she heard the boom of her grenade and saw Clem burst through the roof-side door, SMG in hand. Seeing his friend lying on the floor in a pool of her own blood, Clem gave a cry of agony and took his sweet revenge on the security guard. The orc tossed a grenade from Pary’s Bag’o’Grenades into the hallway, then scooped up Pary Moppins and ran across the rooftop to the computer room. Possessing above-average perception and self-preservation, he dropped an incendiary grenade into the office, igniting everything inside in beautiful fiery glory.
Safely back in the computer room, Rhineholt and Ronin were still hacking into the plant’s system. Clem pulled out his handy-dandy medkit and patched up the unconscious dwarf, finishing the operation just as Ronin chirped “I’m in!” from the shoulder cam. As Ronin began to poke around and see what he could see, the team settled in to plan their escape.
Having filled Ronin in on their plans, the team surrounded the door and prepared to run. Clem’s super orc hearing picked up the sounds of chatter just off the edge of the roof. “Barghest… roof…. try to jump…” As Pary darted to the edge of the roof in the direction of the sound, the face and front paws of a snarling barghest appeared, scrambling for a grip. As the barghest fell back, Pary reached the edge of the roof and grabbed two handfuls of grenades, that familiar maniacal gleam creeping into her eyes as she prepared to toss grenade confetti.
“Slight issue guys, it looks like there’s a real big bomb in the room right below you. Might wanna be kind of careful.”
The light left Pary’s eyes as she shoved all but one incendiary grenade back into her bag. She disdainfully dropped it over the edge, leaning backward as flames shot skyward with a whoosh. Startled barghests yelped and backed away from the fire, right into the range of a small crane. The magnet on the end of the crane picked up 3 of the barghests and carried them away to a nice farm in upstate New York. Pary peeked over the edge of the roof to see one barghest on fire and two more running in panicked circles.
“Slight issue guys, it looks like the real big bomb in the room right below you has 1:30 left on its timer. Might wanna kind of hurry.”
The team ran to the north end of the building, where they expected a worker drone to be meeting them. A quick glance over the edge told them that their ride would not be available in a timely manner, so Clem jumped the railing with Nerd (oh yeah, he’s still hanging around), then turned around to catch his friends. Having safely reached the ground, the team was turning to run when a small cry behind them made them pause.
“Wait! Don’t leave us!”
Standing at the edge of the roof were the two children from the computer room. (They weren’t mentioned earlier because we all assumed they would be insignificant. Little did we know…) The team ran back to the building, and Clem called up, “Jump, I’ll catch you!” Seeing the terrifying beast lurking below them, the kids shook their heads and started to back up. With some soothing words and promises of not dying in the fire, Pary Moppins talked them into jumping. As Child 1 climbed over the railing, Clem, not wanting to be outdone by the charming little dwarf, called up again, “Don’t worry, Mommy’s here to help!” The sight of the grinning teeth below were too much for Child 1, who attempted madly to scramble up the side of the building, screaming, “AAAAAAAAAAH! HE’S GOING TO EAT ME!” Clem, now determined to save the children, leaped up and grabbed the kid by the legs, dragging him more-roughly-than-if-the-kid-hadn’t-chickened-out to the ground. Rhineholt called up to Child 2 (who, it should be mentioned, was also frightened by Lovely Orc Mother), “There’s a bomb in the building kid. Jump down and we’ll try to make sure he doesn’t eat you!” Somehow that worked, and Child 2 climbed over the railing. Clem, having learned from the first child, leaped up and grabbed Child 2, using a series of bizarre arm movements that oddly resembled a bowling swing to soften the child’s fall.
By this time, the Little Drone That Could pulled up next to the team. Rhineholt and Child 2 climbed onto the back of the drone, and Clem and Pary started to run, throwing Child 1 and Nerd over their shoulders. Hearing gunshots from behind, Clem whirled to fire on the attackers, providing cover for his fleeing friends. In an effort to aid the team’s escape, a large crane dropped some scrap between them and the attackers.
The gate to the outside world was in sight when Pary heard the snarl of a barghest just behind the team. Dropping Child 1 (she’s short, it surely didn’t hurt), she pulled her shotgun and whirled to shoot the barghest. With a yelp and the squelch of spraying blood and hydraulic fluid, the animal’s carcass flew backwards into the fence.
Pary and Child 1 reached the team just as Rhineholt hit the button to open the gate. There was a twitch and a buzz as the gate stayed closed. Clem rolled his eyes and muttered some unkind things about technology as he wrenched open the gate, letting his team members run through before running through himself.
The team jumped in the waiting van and got the heck out of dodge. Nerd met an unfortunately timed Deus-imposed death in the back of the van, and the children were safely transferred to some child-friendly members of Overwatch. The team took a few minutes to relax and patch each other up, but with the information recovered from the plant, we know it won’t be long until their next adventure…